Browser humor

A morning message from my computer, is it harbinger of things to come?

Not the best way to start the morning, even my browser is tired. It certainly made me chuckle, I'm not sure my browser ever told me it was embarrassed before.

Maybe I'll finish the laundry and shop before messing with the IT course error that loaded 235 students into the class replacing the registered 52.

Library practicum flashback

Random channel surfing this evening I spotted Gloria Gaynor performing I Will Survive on an award show. As soon as she came on the stage the audience went crazy singing along. All I could think of was the video I'd seen while student teaching - doing my library practicum - at a senior high school in the Pittsburgh area. Someone's husband sent the video via email and we watched it in a computer classroom. It still makes me laugh. Just as she starts enjoying herself ...

The Flip Flop Test

It's karma, another Blogthings test I could not, in fact did not even try, to resist. There were several extended conversations yesterday in the resource center and library about flip flops (I learned a good place for inexpensive and cute ones is Old Navy). What can I say, I work with a lot of women.

What Your Flip Flops Say About You

You live to have fun, and your sense of humor is downright goofy. You are a big kid on the inside, and you have a very open heart. You try to make every day feel like a vacation, even if you have other responsibilities. Each day, you make a little bit of time to play and let loose. Your ideal warm weather place: Disney World

The Flip Flop Test

Interesting that my ideal warm weather place is Disney World. Yesterday I recieved word my professiional development grant was accepted and I recieved funding for the ALA conference in Anaheim. It is not a lot, but definitely will offset some of the travel and hotel costs. I finally took a good look at the hotel situation and noticed the convention center is near Disneyland.

Better get me a pair of green flip flops to take along!

Thank-you Opus

I found this entry in the Sunday comics; it features an old favorite Opus, formerly of Bloom County, by Berkeley Breathed. Opus has been given an e-book for Christmas ... "Welcome to literary salvation, pal" ... and is using it for a significant purpose, to light a traditional book while he's curled up in a comfy chair, in front of the fire, munching from a bowl of popcorn.

Excellent.

I saved the comic section and this will be hanging in my office (still not old) as soon as I find a frame.

Two quick notes to this post. First, the title links to The Seattle Times Sunday comics. If the link address is to be believed, it will show the most recent offering from Breathed and this particular strip was published on 12/30/07. Second, there is an official Berkeley Breathed website, but when searching for additional information the results were tagged by Google as "this site may harm your computer." Therefore, I chose not to add it here. (My computer has enough trouble without adding suspicion of malware and sypware.)

He's baaaack, riding to the rescue

Just in time for a holiday chuckle, he's back; Too Much Information? Mr. Library rides to the rescue. Here are my two favorite question and answer excerpts from .... Mr. Library Man!

Q. Dear Library Man: Since you work in a public school, aren't you really a school media specialist or something?

A. The preferred title is biblio-hero.

and ...

Q. Dear Library Man: Is it your ambition to become the powerful Librarian of Congress?

A. You caught me. These 21 years at a junior high library in west Modesto have just been a stepping stone in my scheme to dominate the library universe.



Tags: Mr. Library Man, Modesto Bee, Brad Barker

Overheard

The grocery stores today were overflowing with customers. There were those stocking up before the "mixed bag" of precipitation due this evening (have enough milk and toilet paper?), some obviously stocking up on baking items, and many who were just doing their weekly grocery shopping routine. Personally, I was braving the madness of this particular store because I have recently developed a taste for chicken salad. Odd, but there you have it.

Leading into the bakery area, a smiling, pleasant employee was stationed offering cookies to customers. With a fresh cinnamon roll with cream cheese icing in my future, I declined. But while perusing the display I overheard the following between the employee and a two male customers:

Store employee: "Hello, would you like to sample a cookie?"

Male customer: "No, thank you. I just put in a fresh chew and don't want to waste it."

In the frozen food aisle of this same store I heard a woman offer to kiss her husbands ass. I moved quickly to pick up a package of Phidelphia cream cheese and was equally pleased not to be privvy to either what instigated the offer or her husbands charming response.

Really, you can't make this stuff up.

Mr. Library Man?

I do not remember, and I am too lazy to check and see, if I blogged about this charmingly hysterical question and answer column in The Modesto Bee written by Mr. Library Man, aka Brad Barker a librarian at Mark Twain Junior High School in Modesto, California. The first column I read was "Mr. Library Man wants you to speak up and ask questions." In it he underscored the reasoning behind his column and questions:

"You know the stereotype. Librarians are portrayed as stern, old-fashioned ladies with cat's-eye glasses whose only jollies come from shushing the giggles of children. As an antidote to narrow- minded caricatures, and to perhaps demystify my profession, I offer this (potentially recurring) column -- Ask Mr. Library Man." - (Barker, Mr. Library Man, 8/29/07)

Today's column is "Ask Mr. Library Man: Call number for breakfast is 641.52" and includes a fresh take on some perennial questions asked of librarians. Here are two of my favorite questions and answers:

Q: You know that phrase "information is power"? If that were true, wouldn't librarians be the most powerful people on earth?

A: Shhh! You've figured it out. Librarians are the mighty overlords of the planet. Our low pay (relative to education and expertise) and our lack of public esteem are part of a massive cover-up.

and ...

Q. Is sarcasm a good quality for a librarian?

A. Considering the overwhelming absurdity of the modern era, sarcasm is a basic survival skill.

Thank you Mr. Library Man, write on.


Tags: Library humor, The Modesto Bee, Mr. Library Man

Quick Library humor

If you don't read Unshelved, the library comic strip, by Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum, you should.

"Welcome to Unshelved, the world's only daily comic strip set in a public library! Writer Gene Ambaum (the made-up name of a real-life librarian) and co-writer and artist Bill Barnes have been publishing since February 16, 2002. Some of the stories are made up, some of them are based on real life, and some are absolutely true stories sent to us from our readers. And the stranger the story, the more likely it is to be true."(Unshelved Primer, 6/11/07)

Today's strip struck features "library" questions at the reference desk, I would love to post it, but you can read it here.


Tags: Unshelved, Unshelved - comic strip, Library humor

I am a tortured genius ....

Sometimes the things that show up in my Bloglines account are frighteningly in tune with what is going on in my life. One of today's tools from Blogthings was: "Are You a Tortured Genuis?" As you can see, I am only a little more than three-quarters genius. I think I liked it better when I was chocolate cake.

You Are 77% Tortured Genius

You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse. Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

Tags: Blogthings, Blog humor

Who is working? An email forward

Arriving in my in-box this afternoon ...

The population of this country is 300 million. 160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 40 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing OsamaBin-Laden.

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city governments.

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me. And there you are, sitting on your butt, at your computer, reading jokes. Nice. Real nice.

Tags: Email humor